One thing I love to do - a lot

Be a good friend.

Just being there to lighten the load is the best.

Allowing someone to be there for you is a genuine gift to the people you invite in.

Much love.

Facebook

My friend and new media mentor Rich advised me to join Facebook. For professional and personal reasons, especially with THE WHOLE TRUTH finished and ready to roll out, preparing to produce THE LONELY GOATHERD and more.

I have been resisting it after a bad experience with one of its predecessors.

Because I trust Rich completely, I cringed, took a deep breath, clenched my fists, bit the bullet and joined.

Push me over with a whisper.

Almost immediately I heard from folks I didn't know were still alive! All asking to be my "friend"; or vice-versa. Because that's the way it works.

We aren't a face, we're a friend. Maybe the next go-round will just be called the Friendbook.

But they do like you to post your face; and it's pretty much plastered everywhere unless you use the blah blue drawing representing you.

If you're a celebrity, people sign up to be your "fan" so you can keep your followers up to date with where they can see your work, what projects you have coming up, etc. No friend. Fan.

Some celebrities personally post messages to you individually or to their fans as a group; others have an assistant send messages in their name.

I respect those who have a personal touch with their Facebook page.

At any road, it's a lot of work to set everything up - and I keep forgetting details I should include, so I've edited the various segments about 100 times today. I just joined recently and have had a number of other tasks that need attention, so it's sort of a back and forth thing.

And probably will be for a couple weeks.

It's been fun uploading my favorite photos to share with my Facebook friends - many of whom actually are my friends, oddly enough. Or have been over the years; we've only lost touch here and there.

Now we have to decide whether we need a Facebook page for each of our films.

Feel free to chime in.

THE WHOLE TRUTH celebration photos!

OK - you know who you are ..









































Photos by Frank DiMarco

Friends and friendships

My family moved 17 times by the time I was 17.

My father was in the Air Force, so I am what is deemed a "military brat."

As much as I learned from my thousands of "new kid" experiences, countless people I met and numerous schools I attended- to quote the ever-honest Eric Roberts, with whom I had breakfast one morning as we were preparing for his extraordinary work in my feature film The Whole Truth: "Whoa. That'll make you strange."

OK, I'd much rather consider myself, "unique."

One thing I cherished deeply along the way was friendships. I took them so much more seriously than the kids I met because they actually lived where they were. They knew they'd see their same friends the next day.

I knew our time was precious and I would not be there long. It was tough to leave because I tried so hard to feel like I belonged where ever we were, but was uprooted time and again.

At a very early age I realized that my "hometown" was and always will be where I am standing; where my heart is.

Which is why I have no childhood friends; I also have no awareness of having relatives beyond my immediate and small family. We moved so often I did not have the opportunity to get to know any of them with more than a passing glimpse.

Building a new and chosen family of people and pets has been a blessing.

Sorry for the verbosity - this is a very roundabout way of saying that I defined friends and friendships very early on as people who make me feel like I belong with them, and they belong with me.

It doesn't happen often. In fact, it happens very seldom. But when it does occur, it feels like New Year's eve. There's a little celebration that goes on in my heart. There's a sense of renewal.

As exciting as it is, there's also a sense of comfort, warmth and safety; like we're both better people when we're together or even thinking of one another. Over time, an authentic love develops. There's no pressure of time or deadlines or stress of performance. There is a feeling that we can be carefree without being careless; of being free without being thoughtless.

It is revered. Sacred.

And appreciated.

Well over eleven years, my best friend and I have developed a connection that has grown systematically over every day of all those weeks and months. For months at a time we emailed one another every day through times rough and rife with joy. We speak nearly weekly on Skype.

We're very different "types" of people but we always seem to have something to share or teach one another from a distance of many thousand miles. I live in Seattle, he lives in Manchester, England. I'm single with four pets - he's married with two daughters to whom he is devoted - one of whom is in college now.

In times of travail, we are the first - or among the first - people we call. His wife is more than happy to have him complain to me since he also does it with her and her "whine-0-meter" has a limit, and she knows he would never complain/whine/bitch and moan about her (he never has).

I visited him nearly two years ago for three weeks and had the most wonderful time evah! Go back far enough here and you can read the many blogs about my adventures in England, with tons of photos.

Coming from my background, it's not unusual for people to come and go. And for any number of reasons - one of which is attention. Relationships require time and attention. Generally more in the beginning, though if it's meant to be deep and rich and thrive it takes on a life of its own and fills both people with a contentment, gratification and fun that never ceases.

Friendships also feed my innovative nature - I'm a prolific creative machine whose passion for my work thrives in the company of true friends. I'm a person with few close friends, but they infuse me with energy, a joy of life and never ending inspired vision.

I'm in the midst of developing a new friendship that has all these qualities and more. Again, as exciting as it is, there is also a sensation of safety and satisfaction. Of compassion, non-judgement and acceptance.

Only history will show if it's meant to be another lifelong association.

I like to say I treat my friends like lovers (without the sex!), my lovers like friends. It just feels like the right way to show friends they are as valued as the ought to be in my life.