Colleen's thoughts on writing, directing and coaching, and her unique take on life itself!

Thursday, December 31, 2009

True champions are not bags of douche

When I coached actors, writers and directors - I advised them: what good does it do to strive to be a champion at anything (I'm all about having a championship mentality) if in your private life you are a bag of douche (trans: douchebag)?

Get your act together.

Abusing drugs, alcohol, sex or being the slave of any addiction will ultimately undo all the good you've achieved or want to accomplish in your work and with your life.

Lacking integrity - lying, cheating, using performance-enhancing drugs, stealing, taking advantage of vulnerable people around you or with whom you work (or worse, who work for you), whatever, will ultimately undo all the good you've achieved or want to accomplish - even if that does not sound "fair".

The bottom line is that if you are an addict, if you lack integrity, if you hurt or destroy others to either "protect" yourself or in a misguided attempt to get ahead, you are broadcasting to the world what a genuine loser you are - regardless of your scorecard on the golf course, stats, popularity, wealth or box office numbers.

It's not just a matter of disappointing fans and people who may believe your hype - it's a matter of you knowing in your heart what a bag of douche you are. At some point you will sabotage yourself - your relationships and your career - because deep inside you "know" you don't deserve all the accolades and money coming your way.

You "know" you are not really worthy.

Well, listen up, because here's the truth: you DO deserve all the accolades, adoration and (possibly) money coming to you from brilliant performances and fairly attained achievements.

But until you clean up your inside act and live life in a way that makes you feel good about who you are as not only as an artist or student or professional or on the job, but as a person, a parent, a partner, a businessperson, a friend, whatever - you will be the cause of your own undoing sooner or later.

And believe me, once the yarn starts to unravel, all those you have wronged in the past who were too frightened or obsequious to speak up will pitch in to pull it apart.

As I put it, if you don't take care of the inside now, the more you appear to succeed, the worse the downfall when self sabotage sets in.

Interestingly, those who chose to continue abusing alcohol, drugs, etc., moved on - insisting that their "private life" has nothing to do with their art or craft.

Actually, it does - but in more subtle ways. Like addictions cut us off from our feelings, and the artist is all about exposing emotions. Lots of great actors and musicians, for example, have gotten clean and sober to enhance their work and their lives.

And may she rest in peace, stories of Brittany Murphy's drug abuse and body issues hurt her personally and professionally - ultimately killing her. She was never able to find ways to truly love herself - much as she was loved by her fans, family and friends.

The process has to start early, because without that early start, awareness can be harder to come by. Like becoming so egotistical you can't understand the injurious or destructive effect on those with whom you work or live. Ego maniacal behavior only makes for a desperate, delusional dragoon.

Bernie Madoff, for example, long considered a financial "star," is so out of touch with his humanity he feels literally NO compassion for those whose lives he ruined (some even committed suicide) by stealing their money, or even a shred of regret for what he's done. None.

Madoff's biographer Andrew Kirtzman said that was his greatest from his research.

Imagine all the engineers of US "health care" industries that make their billions from finding ways to deny the claims of their sick clients - people who have paid them over the years to "protect" them - causing more physical, emotional and financial pain.

The very people they were hired, and well paid, to "protect." Going on to actually cause the deaths of so many paying "clients" for which they will remain forever unaccountable. Except, one day, to themselves and a Higher Power if they believe in one.

Yet Madoff, like those under the heat lamp of scrutiny for their inhumane actions, want us to empathize with them, don't they? Have pity on them for perhaps losing a job - something millions of Americans are suffering this moment. Losing their lifestyle. Their money.

Worst of all - the greedy businesspeople in certain multinational corporations who have lost all contact with their humanity. Whose insatiable greed coupled with an undeserved sense of entitlement make them believe they should be paid many millions of dollars just for breathing.

In the end, it won't matter if they've been seen as generous contributors to great and worthy causes, or how much their progeny achieve after them, when who they are turns out to be a bag of douche. Alas, that reputation will still be their legacy, no matter the other accomplishments. Just ask Joseph Kennedy if you happen to encounter him in hell.

Seriously, what good does it do to be the worlds greatest ... most famous ... whatever, when as a person you are a bag of douche?

This is one type of douche bag------>

It is not to be confused with a bag of douche or douchebag:

Don't misunderstand.

I'm not saying that audiences will shun bags of douche, because in some cases it makes them more like freaks in a fishbowl to glare at, and people will pay for that.

Exposed bags of douche can actually make us feel better about our own sorry lives.

I am saying that if you want to live in a way that makes you feel good about yourself and proud of your achievements and hang around people who understand, love and care for the real you - do right by yourself. Start the process early if you want to bring attention to yourself because the pressure only grows as you succeed and there will be many attempting to dethrone you.

If you know you've been a bag of douche - to yourself and others? Now's the best time to turn that around.

Find ways to make you feel worthy - of love, money, adoration, whatever you seek or whatever good comes your way. Because when you are genuinely in touch with your own worth - you experience the worth of others and seek to continue to enhance not only your own sense of well being, but theirs.

I'm fortunate.

I know people in the public eye (I hesitate to use the word "celebrity" because I think of celebrities as those who have done nothing worthwhile to actually deserve attention; the folks I know are hard working, down to earth, accomplished individuals) who are not bags of douche, who have integrity, who live positive lives, who are devoted parents, friends, siblings, artists and humanitarians whose souls shine for those who know them privately as well as their adoring public because they, at some point, cared enough to learn how to take care of themselves - their minds, their bodies and their souls.

And the world is a much better, richer, well entertained place because of them.

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  • At 9:13 PM, Blogger Mireille M said…

    A very interesting post CP. I wonder if there was a particular person or event that triggered you to write it ... was it the Madoff situation, or a combination of things?

  • At 9:29 PM, Blogger cp said…

    You are so perceptive, MM!

    Two words: Tiger Woods

  • At 4:46 PM, Blogger Mireille M said…

    Oh Ikkk that loser ... not only is he a bag of *##$% but he's also a %@#* #*%^(

  • At 11:19 PM, Anonymous Caitlin said…

    Not only was this a great read, but the title is my number one favorite title for a post ever!

    Look how Tiger Woods went from one of the greatest Golfers to one of the world's biggest punchlines. (courtesy of every late night talk show.)He ruined his career and more importantly his family all because he is indeed a douchebag. I really hope that he is getting help so he can get his life somewhat back to normal.


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